Cleanliness is next to Godliness but do you call it when
it goes way too far? Well, you might just call it Clark
Pu because any more clean and it has an official
diagnosis. Unlike most people with a cleanliness
fetish, Clark's bout with bleach and sanitizers dates
back to an exact moment. Deep into his Freshman year of
high school, he made the unfortunate decision of using a
portapotty while Sean Vetcher, the school hoodlum and
resident juvey ambassador, was watching. Before Clark
knew it, the blue citadel to nastiness was tipping over
with him in it. Sean went back to juvey but the damage
was done and Clark would forever adopt an ultra clean
habit in an effort to expunge any memory of the
portapotty incident. It's the equivalent of showering
twice but the blue water never really comes off in your
mind. Clark carries around two backpacks. One is
filled with school books and the like. The other is a
veritable arsenal against the bacterial and microbial
hordes. In spite of all the cleaning supplies (or maybe
because of), Clark Pu is a strong Fantasy Geeks player
so let's take a look at his various stats.
the Gaming category, Clark scores a 7 for the simple
fact that he has his local GameStop on speed dial.
Granted, each game has to be properly sanitized and he
wears rubber gloves when entering the store but speed
dial, people. Speed dial.
the Physique, Baby category, he will earn you a base 8
score for his hypersensitive sense of smell. This may
explain how he can detect the smallest hint of mold (1
parts per 1 million) for 20 yards away and promptly
bring out his 409 and Lysol.
Needless to say, the extreme need for clean doesn't help
his love life but he's always prepared to keep a safe
distance from any partner with the lambskin condom in
his wallet. The only problem is that with a use by date
of 1998, it's probably not going to be too effective.
He's probably still safe though. It's not coming out
Remember the black light studies of hotel beds? Well,
Clark is going a step further. His Soviet built X-ray
vision goggles can spot organic life or the residual
traces from organic life while simultaneously
irradiating the entire perimeter. Outside of increasing
cancer rates by 500 fold, Clark calls this a win win.
With a 6 score for Techmology, we call it a break even.
token of his steps towards some type of cleanliness
normalcy, he carries around his rubber dog crap gag
gift. Granted, it's in 3 sealed plastic bags which have
been vacuum sealed and then incased in a hard resin
plastic but it's the though that counts. This will earn
you a 7 in the Hobbies category.
the Odditorium category, he comes on strong with a 9 for
his pet gecko named Geico, a poor attempt at humor. The
gecko lives in an airtight but conditioned tank to allow
for zero contamination with the outside world.
Clark has many hang-ups but his geek status is firmly in
place. If you can pick him up in the 2nd round,
definitely go for it. He'll offer you above average
scores without eating up to many of your geek bucks.
Just make sure to wash your hands first. He would want
it that way.