Clark Pu Fantasy Geek Player
  
He wants to borrow a wet wipe

Cleanliness is next to Godliness but do you call it when it goes way too far?  Well, you might just call it Clark Pu because any more clean and it has an official diagnosis.  Unlike most people with a cleanliness fetish, Clark's bout with bleach and sanitizers dates back to an exact moment.  Deep into his Freshman year of high school, he made the unfortunate decision of using a portapotty while Sean Vetcher, the school hoodlum and resident juvey ambassador, was watching.  Before Clark knew it, the blue citadel to nastiness was tipping over with him in it.  Sean went back to juvey but the damage was done and Clark would forever adopt an ultra clean habit in an effort to expunge any memory of the portapotty incident.  It's the equivalent of showering twice but the blue water never really comes off in your mind.  Clark carries around two backpacks.  One is filled with school books and the like.  The other is a veritable arsenal against the bacterial and microbial hordes.  In spite of all the cleaning supplies (or maybe because of), Clark Pu is a strong Fantasy Geeks player so let's take a look at his various stats.

In the Gaming category, Clark scores a 7 for the simple fact that he has his local GameStop on speed dial.  Granted, each game has to be properly sanitized and he wears rubber gloves when entering the store but speed dial, people.  Speed dial. 

In the Physique, Baby category, he will earn you a base 8 score for his hypersensitive sense of smell.  This may explain how he can detect the smallest hint of mold (1 parts per 1 million) for 20 yards away and promptly bring out his 409 and Lysol. 

Needless to say, the extreme need for clean doesn't help his love life but he's always prepared to keep a safe distance from any partner with the lambskin condom in his wallet.  The only problem is that with a use by date of 1998, it's probably not going to be too effective.  He's probably still safe though.  It's not coming out anytime soon.

Remember the black light studies of hotel beds?  Well, Clark is going a step further.  His Soviet built X-ray vision goggles can spot organic life or the residual traces from organic life while simultaneously irradiating the entire perimeter.  Outside of increasing cancer rates by 500 fold, Clark calls this a win win.  With a 6 score for Techmology, we call it a break even. 

As a token of his steps towards some type of cleanliness normalcy, he carries around his rubber dog crap gag gift.  Granted, it's in 3 sealed plastic bags which have been vacuum sealed and then incased in a hard resin plastic but it's the though that counts.  This will earn you a 7 in the Hobbies category.

In the Odditorium category, he comes on strong with a 9 for his pet gecko named Geico, a poor attempt at humor.  The gecko lives in an airtight but conditioned tank to allow for zero contamination with the outside world. 

Clark has many hang-ups but his geek status is firmly in place.  If you can pick him up in the 2nd round, definitely go for it.  He'll offer you above average scores without eating up to many of your geek bucks.  Just make sure to wash your hands first.  He would want it that way. 

 

 


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