all knew those kids. There chance of reaching age 18
was 50/50 at best. Whether it was an intense
fascination with fire and fireworks or some hair-brained
stunt involving shopping carts and steep hill, things
were probably not going to work out well. Call it a
lack of fear and not in the t-shirt bravado good way.
There's a reason we should be afraid to jump off
buildings. It's bad for legs. Scotty Tamps never knew
that fear. Life was a series of dangerous things to try
out and see what happened. Yes, head would find
themselves wedged into storm drains and a few plate
glass windows might meet their end on the sharp part of
his dull head but that's Scotty, or Geek Game player.
Throw in some over-the-top bluster and you have a unique
mix of danger and bluster. Probably won't win you many
friends but in Fantasy Geeks, the Facebook game, he'll
win you quite a few points. Let's take a look Mr. Tamps
as many individuals in uniform with badges have likely
addressed him as over the years.
Scotty Tamps famous and infamous neighborhood feats of
both daring and stupid are well know and well
travelled. We'll break down his Geek Game categories
down for full display. First, there's the Gaming
category which celebrates all things game based...a
hallmark of geekdom. This is one of Scotty's strongest
categories. He scores a solid 9 weekly points for his
role as Second Life mall cop. Why he chose a mall cop
and not a real cop in what amounts to a fantasy role
where he could choose anything is confusing until you
realize...Hey, it's Scotty Tamps. He's pretty authentic
from his many run-ins with the authority. He know
Miranda by heart and can even quote the various numeric
police codes for most misdemeanors involving vandalism,
loitering, and obscenity.
true geeky disposition comes out loud and clear with his
Physique, Baby score of 7. He earns this with a Hubble
Telescope Tattoo, a seemingly contrarian design for the
local hooligan until you realize that it was the only
one on sale under $5 at the parlor.
the Dress Code category, he earns a 7 for his Chinese
R2D2 condoms. Leave it to the Chinese to both violate
Lucas Art trademarks in such a crass way. If only the
condoms weren't made with parabens and epoxy resins, we
might excuse the outright theft. Doesn't
matter...Scotty loved them right away especially with
the R2D2 print on the actual condom. He'll never use
them but it's important to have them in the wallet.
Scotty Tamps limited fascination of technology has
usually shown it self in the construction of explosive
and incredibly volatile home-made weapons. The one
exception is his beloved robotic can opener which he can
spend hours watching. He earns a 6 in the Techmology
category which reflects the limited "wow" factor of such
a device unless you work for Cambells.
the Hobbies category, he get's a 9 for his constant use
of interchangeably using the word "Fracking". It's was
annoying enough in the Battle Star Galatica remake but
when Scotty does it...well...it's very annoying as well.
Finally, in the Odditorium category, we're faced
(begrudgingly) with a life-size Telletubby figure which
gives hints to what's really on in Scotty Tamps
childlike mind. He earns his Fantasy Geek game owners
an 8 for this throw back to his pre-injurious childhood.
Scotty Tamps is a solid 2nd round pick for the Geek game
draft so make sure to grab him if he comes up especially
if you plan on cornering the Gaming or Hobbies category
where he proudly brings a 9 to your score.